Ang sa akin lang…
Oo minahal ka niya at hindi niya itinatanggi na kahit sa magpahanggang ngayon ay may puwang ka pa rin sa puso niya, pero hindi naman ito dahilan upang paluhain mo siya at paglaruan ang kanyang damdaming nanahimik na sana – lalong higit hindi ito dahilan para pagkatuwaan ninyo at pagtawanan.
Ang sa akin lang…
Babae lang siya na nagmahal sa’yo at alam kong kahit sa maikling panahon ay naging kayo, itanggi mo man ito.. ngayon kung hindi mo kayang pahalagahan man lang ang naibahagi niyang pagmamahal sa’yo, sana man lang igalang mo ang kanyang pagkatao – bilang tao, bilang isang babae..
Ang sa akin lang…
Kung talagang hindi siya importante sa’yo, sana tantanan mo nalang... may balik ang lahat ng ginagawa mo kung hindi man ngayon, maaring bukas o sa ibang panahon.. kung hindi man sa’yo maaring sa kapatid mo o sa ibang malapit sa’yo..
Ang sa akin lang…
Sana alam mo ang salitang KARMA…
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
EPILOGUE: 5 years of one sided love.
Love is unconditional. You give love and don’t expect anything in return. They say that if you love, you are willing to sacrifice, you are willing to wait, and sometimes you are willing to do anything beyond the call of love. But in obvious certainty we are just blinded by the fact that the person we love will reciprocate the same in return.
Love is a sweet feeling but it can also be bitter sweet, for there is a very painful kind of love. A kind of love that everyone might have or might be experienced, it is called a one sided love. It comes in many ways, it can be you in a relationship and your so in love with your partner but he is indifferent to you or doesn’t feel exactly what you are feeling. You try your very best to be noticed, just to strike a conversation just to let him smile at you. You tend to be aggressive and compose at the same time. You’re itching for his attention, you want to grab him and hold him tight but he’s far from your reach. He might be physically near but he’s feelings for you is light year from your existence.
Mine is a different situation, more complicated than the usual. It's not like a boy and girl relationship or vice versa. You know what I mean.
During the start, when I was just starting to fall for him everything seems to work according to what i wanted. We became friends, and eventually become more closer than anyone else as the days and months passed by.
I give the state of our relationship a different meaning. Because I thought we're on the same ship. I thought wrong.. it was only me all along.. but i keep blinded and still hoping that he will fall the same.. I even considered him my own.
but it never happens...
It took me five years to realize that, although it’s long been obvious, I always give myself the benefit of the doubt. I tend to make believe, and I tend to hope that someday we’ll end up together that someday he will be able to return my feelings.
And that is where the pain starts, I keep on holding to such matters that every move he makes is a big matter for me. I keep on expecting but nothing happens. I was there, a background for a relationship that would never seem to shatter. But still, I’m not ready to give up even though the conclusion is already implied that we would never be together but I am still there hoping that the story would shift from him to me. Every kisses and hugs, every glances and smiles contribute to the thousands of arrows of pain being struck to me.
I would say I’m happy for you, You guys are so sweet, I’m letting you go, If you don’t feel the same way about me then go. Those words keep ringing in my head but still I am holding on the quote “if we’re meant to be then you would come back to me”. A one sided love story, a story of endless struggles of being noticed, of trying to impressed, of trying hard, of waiting, of hoping, of loving, and of taking as much pain as you can take in.
Love is a sweet feeling but it can also be bitter sweet, for there is a very painful kind of love. A kind of love that everyone might have or might be experienced, it is called a one sided love. It comes in many ways, it can be you in a relationship and your so in love with your partner but he is indifferent to you or doesn’t feel exactly what you are feeling. You try your very best to be noticed, just to strike a conversation just to let him smile at you. You tend to be aggressive and compose at the same time. You’re itching for his attention, you want to grab him and hold him tight but he’s far from your reach. He might be physically near but he’s feelings for you is light year from your existence.
Mine is a different situation, more complicated than the usual. It's not like a boy and girl relationship or vice versa. You know what I mean.
During the start, when I was just starting to fall for him everything seems to work according to what i wanted. We became friends, and eventually become more closer than anyone else as the days and months passed by.
I give the state of our relationship a different meaning. Because I thought we're on the same ship. I thought wrong.. it was only me all along.. but i keep blinded and still hoping that he will fall the same.. I even considered him my own.
but it never happens...
It took me five years to realize that, although it’s long been obvious, I always give myself the benefit of the doubt. I tend to make believe, and I tend to hope that someday we’ll end up together that someday he will be able to return my feelings.
And that is where the pain starts, I keep on holding to such matters that every move he makes is a big matter for me. I keep on expecting but nothing happens. I was there, a background for a relationship that would never seem to shatter. But still, I’m not ready to give up even though the conclusion is already implied that we would never be together but I am still there hoping that the story would shift from him to me. Every kisses and hugs, every glances and smiles contribute to the thousands of arrows of pain being struck to me.
I would say I’m happy for you, You guys are so sweet, I’m letting you go, If you don’t feel the same way about me then go. Those words keep ringing in my head but still I am holding on the quote “if we’re meant to be then you would come back to me”. A one sided love story, a story of endless struggles of being noticed, of trying to impressed, of trying hard, of waiting, of hoping, of loving, and of taking as much pain as you can take in.
Neil Gaiman Quotes
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” “
*********
"I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing.”
*********
"I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing.”
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Hot Summer Weekend
It was definitely the hottest summer weekend I experienced. Sobrang banas nang pakiramdam ko, konting galaw ko lang pinagpapawisan na ako, kahit nga yata nakaupo lang ako siguradong tatagaktak ang pawis ko.
Hay, Sarap magbabad sa tubig ang kaso kakatapos ko pa lang maligo mabanas na ulit ang pakiramdam ko. Ano bayan, Tatlong beses siguro akong nagkulong sa banyo para lang mag shower.
Ang sarap lumaklak ng malamig na tubig, halos maubos ko na yata ang lahat ng tubig sa loob ng ref namin dahil nga sa sobrang init. Hindi nga lang siguro tubig ang inubos ko pati yata dalawang litro ng softdrinks kulang sa uhaw na naramdam ko.
Katamad namang lumabas ng bahay, masarap sana tumambay sa Mall para hindi ko na alintana ang sobrang init ng panahon pero mas minabuti ko na lang na mamalagi sa bahay para makaiwas na rin sa gastos at pagod.
Gusto ko sanang mag halo-halo, ung may labing isang sangkap tapos super dami ng yelo with ice cream pa on top, sigurong sulit na ang araw ko non kahit pa parang iniihaw ang pakiramdam ko sa init ng panahon.
Bukas mag hahalo-halo talaga ako kung hindi man kahit ice cream man lang para masatisfied kahit konti ang cravings ko.
Shower nga muna ulit ako..
Hay, Sarap magbabad sa tubig ang kaso kakatapos ko pa lang maligo mabanas na ulit ang pakiramdam ko. Ano bayan, Tatlong beses siguro akong nagkulong sa banyo para lang mag shower.
Ang sarap lumaklak ng malamig na tubig, halos maubos ko na yata ang lahat ng tubig sa loob ng ref namin dahil nga sa sobrang init. Hindi nga lang siguro tubig ang inubos ko pati yata dalawang litro ng softdrinks kulang sa uhaw na naramdam ko.
Katamad namang lumabas ng bahay, masarap sana tumambay sa Mall para hindi ko na alintana ang sobrang init ng panahon pero mas minabuti ko na lang na mamalagi sa bahay para makaiwas na rin sa gastos at pagod.
Gusto ko sanang mag halo-halo, ung may labing isang sangkap tapos super dami ng yelo with ice cream pa on top, sigurong sulit na ang araw ko non kahit pa parang iniihaw ang pakiramdam ko sa init ng panahon.
Bukas mag hahalo-halo talaga ako kung hindi man kahit ice cream man lang para masatisfied kahit konti ang cravings ko.
Shower nga muna ulit ako..
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Bakit?
Bakit?... ang palagi na'y tanong nitong aking isip
sa mabilis na kabog nitong yaring dibdib.
Ewan ko nga ba kung anong sanhi nito
ito kaya'y dulot ng paghanga sa iyo.
Rumehistro na sa isip ang wangis mo
tumatatak na sa dibdib ko ang pangalan mo.
Ngayo'y naghahanap ng kasagutan mandin
kung ang nadarama kaya'y tutugunin din.
At kung mangyari man ito'y iyong mapansin
huwag sanang balewalain pagkat ang puso'y maninimdim.
Ramdam at batid ko na ako'y kaibigan lang
pagkat puso mong taglay ay may iba nang laman.
Dadapwat ako'y patuloy na aasa
dahil ang makapiling ka'y ligaya ko sinta
kahit hiram na sandali'y ipagkaloob mo na
hindi maghahangad ng higit pa.
Ang tanging nais ko lang ay maipakita
at lalong higit maipadama
itong damdamin ngayo'y batid ko na.
sa mabilis na kabog nitong yaring dibdib.
Ewan ko nga ba kung anong sanhi nito
ito kaya'y dulot ng paghanga sa iyo.
Rumehistro na sa isip ang wangis mo
tumatatak na sa dibdib ko ang pangalan mo.
Ngayo'y naghahanap ng kasagutan mandin
kung ang nadarama kaya'y tutugunin din.
At kung mangyari man ito'y iyong mapansin
huwag sanang balewalain pagkat ang puso'y maninimdim.
Ramdam at batid ko na ako'y kaibigan lang
pagkat puso mong taglay ay may iba nang laman.
Dadapwat ako'y patuloy na aasa
dahil ang makapiling ka'y ligaya ko sinta
kahit hiram na sandali'y ipagkaloob mo na
hindi maghahangad ng higit pa.
Ang tanging nais ko lang ay maipakita
at lalong higit maipadama
itong damdamin ngayo'y batid ko na.
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