Does LOVE has GENDER???

Why does love have to be defined by someone’s sex?

Does it really matter where love show its face?

Does it really matter who we fall in love with?

If we love each other, shouldn’t that be legit?

Why can’t we enjoy love in its every sense..?

... LOVE HAS NO GENDER!!!

I CAN'T... BUT

I can’t give solution to all of life’s problems, doubts or fear… But I can listen to you.

I can’t change your past with all its heartaches and pain or the future with its untold stories… But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can’t keep your feet from stumbling… But I can offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make or to judge… But I can only support you, encourage you and help you when you ask.

I can’t prevent you from falling away from friendship, for your values, from me… But I can only pray for you, and wait for you.

I can’t give you boundaries… But I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself.

I can’t keep your heart from breaking and hurting… But I can cry with you and help pick up the pieces and put them back in place.

I can’t tell you who to love… But I can love you and be your FRIEND.

What Was Lost???

I'd never understood everything that has been in my life for the past couple of months, everything that had happened just came so suddenly... I got lost along the way… never minding to look deeper into the situation.. I got played with all the unnecessary thoughts that circling my mind. Been so assuming… taking everything that you’ve said so seriously [though, that it’s really wasn’t meant for me... or maybe].. Perhaps, it was the episodes i wasn't able to play right.

I grew worried everyday… until I can’t take it anymore..

Why? What went wrong? Why didn’t you tell me? All this questions and more left unanswered… You just keep your silence and distance obviously.. Thus, this awkwardness surrounds me..

YET

The time I have shared with you have all been, without regret… I am painfully aware that you are gone and no longer there…. You made up your mind and you went away (referring to the feeling), as things started to not feel right… I know it’s pointless to wish for you to stay because at the end of the tunnel there is no more light. Often I don’t know what to say or do… So many times, I have cried over you. Emptiness and sorrow is now a part of me, since I have to accept that we will never be.

BUT

What we had been will continue to live in my heart as I wish you well… please believe me when I say, you will always be with me…

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“I am sorry for placing too much faith in destiny. It appears that you were meant to be mine only for a little while”

CONFUSED!

 

I WANT TO SETTLE FOR FRIENDSHIP

BUT MY HEART DOESN’T WANT TO;

I WANT TO FORGET ABOUT IT

AND JUST GET OVER YOU;

I WANT TO WAKE UP FROM THE DREAM

AND LIVE MY LIFE IN REALITY;

I WANT TO STOP THE PAIN

 AND FIND MY WOUND REMEDY;

I WANT TO STOP LOVING YOU

AND JUST BE YOUR FRIEND;

I WANT TO SAY “I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE”

BUT MY HEART FINDS IT HARD TO PRETEND.

I HATE YOU!

I HATE HOW I LOVE YOU

I HATE HOW I FELT

I HATE EVERYTHING YOU SAID

THAT MADE MY HEART MELT

I HATE HOW I WAS SO STUPID

I HATE THAT I FELL SO HARD

I HATE HOW I LET YOU IN

AND LET YOU STEAL MY HEART

I HATE HOW MUCH I TRY TO HATE YOU

I HATE IT THAT I CAN’T

I HATE IT THAT I MISS YOU,

EVEN THOUGH YOU DON’T…

HEAVEN's CRY

When I came into your life, you told me you would love me and never gonna hurt me… I was your best friend, your love, your everything.

Until one day..  you said, “ I’m sick, I’m afraid I can’t stay with you any longer…” I refused to believe you at first but when I saw those tears fell down your cheeks… It spells out the truth about how you really feel inside… I was deeply hurt, yeah I know… you were hurt too… you can't even look straight into my eyes when you said, “it was too late!”  my life has changed at that very moment… I just found myself on bended knees yelling… why???? I was down completely, but I had to be strong for you… at my worst… you were there…

Until the day has come for us to say goodbye… I knew it, but I just can’t accept it… If only I knew that was the last time, I should have held you and never let go…

The kiss, whisper and embrace… it was the last… I can feel your arms falling down slowly, I know you’re gone… We always thought our love was enough for us to last… it was a sad ending… its God’s will…

Those six long years, it’s all gone now… how can I forget? How can I start over once again…? 

I’m sorry if you see my life falling apart… I know I can’t get you back and I won’t be seeing you for the rest of my life…

The sadness of the nights brings back the day we had, the time you let go of me… and the moment that I surrendered you… even silence reminds me of all the sorrow… the pain… and my hopelessness… 

Let me suffer in silence, till I get over you slowly. I can let you go… and I will be ME once again… I will be keeping my promise. I will move on…. 

But you will always be a part of me… Hear me say this one last time, “I have found the essence of my life, I have discovered a world that’s beautiful, because of you…”

My love…  My misery...  I’m letting go of you now… It’s time to set myself free… This is the hardest thing I will do, 'coz I still love you… and this love… this is all I have…

(Excerpt from the video of HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART?)

DEMIGOD WINZTON 4: Will Someone Ever Care for Me?

Complexities of life has always left me with no choice - even if how hard i try to believe things are okay, things still seem to go its way to just hurt me.

But how do we really say we care and when do we care? Do we really care at all? or just making ourselves think (without feeling we care) so as to satisfy our own selves of feeling that we do care.

Is caring really have to be mutual or should we care for oneself only or share it with someone, some people or to the rest of the world.?

It seems to me that I have been caring much and almost forgetting the risk of getting hurt all over again. I guess that's caring... giving without thinking of anything in return... BUT???

"will someone ever care for 
me,too?..."

@raremomentsinlife

Time to Let GO

I WANNA TELL YOU I FEEL HUNG UP AND I DON'T KNOW WHY...

I don’t see the smile you use to give to me
I don’t see the sad look in your eyes
I don’t know why it’s happening to us
I’m loosing you forever so fast

It’s hard to keep the pieces of a broken heart
There’s no mending
There’s no brand new start
Maybe I just have to face the truth
I’m losing you and there’s nothing I can do

[Chorus]
Maybe it’s time to let go
It’s time to move on
Maybe i’ts time to forget what we have shared
I just have to learn getting over all the days
We used to say
I love you, I love you

Tomorrow is a lonely day that I must face
To try and get back on my feet would be a waste
For how can I truly live without your love?
A life without you is not a life at all

[repeat Chorus]

There are many questions (many questions)
Left in my mind
I can’t find the answers why you’re mine
For I know
It is true
it is time to let go

[repeat Chorus]

DEMIGOD WINZTON 3: A Good Friend is just a FRIEND!

"...and yes we will remain good friends
as long as I live"

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The question has been pondered what does it mean to be just good friend

A Good Friend is:

SOMEONE who is there for you when you need a compassionate ears to listen to some of your problems…

SOMEONE who cares about the things that happen in your life…

SOMEONE who doesn’t  want romance just companionship..

SOMEONE who doesn’t make excuses for not coming to your special event…

SOMEONE you can lean upon when the cares of the world seem to be piling up against you...

SOMEONE who is there when you are in need of a kind shoulders to cry on and…

SOMEONE who laughs at your jokes… and
SOMEONE WHO...!?!?!?

Being just GOOD FRIENDS can be simply sharing a relationship with SOMEONE who is simply that, a GOOD FRIEND.

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... Well, I'm tired of pretending  but I'm terrified of it ending. I know if not for you there's nothing I could do to ever let it end. And I know you feel the same way, cause you told me drunk on your birthday and as you pulled to me you whispered in my ear, "Don't ever let it end"

We can laugh as we both pretend...  that we're just GOOD FRIENDS!

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DEMIGOD WINZTON 2: The Right Kind of Wrong

We’re all seeking for that special person who is right for us. But if you’re just like me and you’ve been through enough relationships, maybe you too, begin to suspect that may be there’s no right person… just different flavors of wrong.

Just like the past days and nights. I can’t sleep. Looking back at all the aches I’ve been through. Can’t help but ask myself, Am I the one causing this much pain I am feeling now? Should I blame myself for all this? Is choosing the wrong person to love the only thing I’m good at?

Yeah, I must admit, maybe I was wrong on some parts and I seek out for someone who is wrong in some complementary way. It takes a lot a living to grow fully into your own wrongness.

And maybe it isn’t until I finally run up against my deepest demons and embrace my inner corpse – the ones that make me truly who I am. That I am ready to find a lifelong mate. That I am ready to find the wrong person..

But not just any wrong person:

The right wrong person—someone I would lovingly gaze upon and think, “Hey, this is the problem I want to have”. The problem I’ll be more than happy to have every day of my life.

I can’t wait for that day. That I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way..

Or maybe, I have found YOU.

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DEMIGOD WINZTON

My heart is in a million pieces...  I never expected to fall for you, it came quite soonest.  I am afraid of being vulnerable, I am afraid of being hurt. But mostly I am afraid of hurting someone else. I once said that “SACRIFICE should not be one-sided” But I proved myself wrong, I just learned that “SACRIFICE is just like LOVING SOMEONE UNCONDITIONALLY. You learned to sacrifice, without giving any second thought for the sake of the person you love… HAPPINESS cannot be bought either, it is earned and you earned it a long time ago.

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I found this song applicable to what I wanted to tell you, I just hope I can keep to the promise of this song… (please find time to listen)

I cannot wish for anything else knowing you are happy and that you had found someone who can make you feel even happier is such a blessing to be thanked for. It’s a wonderful thing.. 

I guess, I’ll just gonna LOVE YOU IN SILENCE.. I hope that this won’t affect nor changed the FRIENDSHIP we had.

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I hope I can be with someone like you but if destiny won’t favor me until the next ten years I would rather be dead. I made this a promise to myself... and I will.

“The amount of happiness that you have depends on the amount of freedom you have in your heart.” 

– Thicj Nhat Hanh

Another Year Older!

In light of recent events, I'm changing the name of this blog (for the third time, yes that's how #pickled I am) from Pahina ni Bjozh to My Page and now to Bjozh b'gosh... because life is full of surprises and wonders.

To coincide is my getting another year older.. 

YES, It was my Birthday (last October 11, Tuesday) and I’m one year older. I don’t really care so much about being older as I do about being closer to 40 than 30.

As what KC Concepcion said in one of her Shampoo commercial: “AGE IS JUST A NUMBER AND BEING YOUNG IS AN ATTITUDE”  

Because, Everyone is the age of their HEART

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Let us share the symbol of JOY and HAPPINESS.

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WORD OF THANKS to all my well wishers, family and friends for sending me their good wishes … To NUKS for celebrating with me and for the wonderful gift of FRIENDSHIP. I LOVE YOU ALL.

… SPECIAL THANKS to our FATHER in HEAVEN for giving me another year to celebrate life!

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AND to EVERYONE ELSE who remembered me on my SPECIAL DAY... 

SALAMAT!

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QUOTE:

A man’s age is something impressive, it sums up his life; maturity reached slowly and against many obstacle, illnesses cured, griefs and despairs overcome, and unconscious risks taken; maturity formed through so many desires, hopes, regrets, forgotten things, loves. A man’s age represents a fine cargo of experiences and memories.

 

~Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Wartime Writings 1939-1944,

translated from French by Norah Purcell