Topsy -Turvey

Just barely a couple of months had passed and my life doesn’t seem to do well the way I wanted. I am confused. My top turned so upside down - everything about me is not well organized because things happen in the wrong order. I am quick to believe false promises, easy to trust people, giving them importance when in fact, they are not worth it.

I am not firm in my decision. My emotions always contradict my judgment. I always seek for happiness, which is always temporary.  I’ve been so pathetic rather than practical. If only I could make a stand on what is right and necessary and not merely on preference.

But I don’t want to blame myself, not anybody... It just that life has been so complicated, so unfair sometimes, so deceiving.

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"Carry on... it’s never too late to put things in order and start anew."

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Stupid Yellow

We are advised to wear yellow shirt today (or any shirt with touch of yellow) in commemoration of the 25^th Anniversary of People Power Revolution (also known as the EDSA Revolution and the Philippine Revolution of 1986).

Night before, I choose from at least six or seven yellow shirts (all of different shades). I choose the one that I am comfortable wearing, a simple casual shirts.

At the office – I was told that I am not wearing yellow. I just ignore the comment coz I know I am wearing the right color.

After a while, three others commented the same. They said that I’m wearing orange instead of yellow.

WHAT??? Orange???…

Suddenly I’m confused… Are they color blind or Am I color blind??? It’s yellow, I know it is.. I confidently believe it is..

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A different shades of yellow… a STUPID YELLOW or WHATEVER?!?. 

..

I don't know

Starring blankly ahead, wandering what to do.

My thoughts were blocked by this entire crazy thing

Oh why did it happen, who am I to blame

I know I did the right things, but I didn’t intend to end this way.

It was your faults not mine…

You did it once, you did it twice

But you didn’t hear from me,

‘Cause I don’t want to say things that can hurt either of us

You took my silence for granted

Thinking what you did was alright

And that I don’t mind anything at all

You did it again the nth times

And this time you piss me off

I give you the worst that you deserved

And you just give a strong face.

You seem so proud, unmindful of your wrong

And we didn’t talked for very long

All that I’m waiting is for you to say you’re sorry,

Is it the hardest thing for you to do???

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I have already forgiven you in my heart

What’s done is done…

And if you have the courage to embrace me back

I will welcome you with both hands…

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Sleeping Pills

I wake up late this morning. It must have been caused by the sleeping pills I took last night.  

It’s the middle of the night and I keep on starring at the ceiling, counting sheeps so I could fall asleep. I anxiously look at the clock again and it’s almost midnight. I was thinking of taking a double dose of the sleeping pills so I could effortlessly fall asleep, but I took 5mg instead. I went back to bed and ZZzzzzzzzZZZZzz..

Time Flies

Why?

Why?

Why do I feel this way?

I can’t move…

I can’t breath…

My sanity’s losing me.

I am bored…

I am tired…

I am dying inside.

I need space…

I need change…

Does anyone care?

I’ve done it once…

I’ve done it all

Don’t wanna do it no more.

I’ve given everything..

My heart…

My life…

My soul.

And now…

I’m already broke..

I’ve nothing to call my own…

I can’t smile, I can’t laugh…

I am wasted…

I am broken, frozen.

I am nobody.

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After awhile I realize

that time flies

The best thing that I can do now is

Take whatever comes…

...